How To Get What You Want And Want What You Have – John Gray


[tags & notes here reflect whole book, esp introduction – see individual chapters for more]

  • some people dont know how to get what they want at all, others have learned how to get what they want but dont enjoy it
  • not so convincing the way he describes people who are contrasted to the successful but unsatisfied lot as being open to life and content with who they are but can’t quite make their dreams come true – these people are not really discussed further (and imo must be rare) yet used on first page to compare
  • ‘personal success’ is described as middle ground between these extremes (getting what you want and contuining to want what you have)
  • personal success is not a measure of who you are, what you have done and what you have but rather (why not also?) how you feel about it, including the confidence to continue getting, creating, and being what you want
  • personal success can be achieved more easily that most think, with just a few adjustments
  • find out how to balance inner and outer success (is that personal success?)
  • 4 steps detailed for personal success explored in book = set your intention, get what you need, get what you want, remove blocks to success
  • if you are going in wrong direction all you will meet is resistance – why intentions (recognizing where you are now and where you need to go) are important
  • act in harmony with ones’ soul’s desire not just desires of mind, heart and senses (‘heart’ here perhaps more to mean emotions and mind are thoughts? heart to me is soul)
  • getting what you need is about more than knowing who you are and being true to yourself but understanding the kind of love and support that is important for everyone – cannot find true self with unfulfilled ‘love needs’, no matter how well the car runs it always needs fuel
  • create your personal outer success wothout giving up true self
  • attract what you want with strong desires, positive beliefs & passionate feelings
  • strengthen power of desire by acknowledging and transforming negative feelings
  • 12 common blocks to clear and release which can hold you back: blame, depression, anxiety, indifference, judgment, indecision, procrastination, perfectionism, resentment, self-pity, confusion and guilt (some are practically same or subsets of another maybe?)
  • life’ challenges will become opportunities and negative experiences into lessons learned
  • what was difficult will beccome easier and life will no longer be a struggle
  • doors that seemed locked will open and you will free and relieved to be yourself and do what you are meant to do
  • radiant self will light your path
  • ‘journey through darkess will be over’ (?)
  • will finally properly witness the truth of being loved and supported always
  • not a state of grace devoid of conflict, disappointment, ups and downs, mistakes, adjustments etc, these will be seen as important and used to grow 
  • accept the process and know it can take time, drop expectations of perfection
  • only you hold the key to your success